Who's Line Is It Anyway?

I'm totally freaked out this morning, just merrily walking along listening to Elton singing 'Are You Ready For Love', as it reaches the chorus I find myself singing along out loud and at that very same moment that I sing the title, my eyes catch a National Lottery poster in a shop window that reads 'Are You Ready?' I mean that is just freaky right?

Hear Me Now

Need I say more..... (Matt comments please!)

Portion O'Pork Anyone?

Saw this wonderful sign at a local pub the other week. Well I'm sure you can all read what it says, all written on a bed sheet too.

Cause For Concern?

Either this was the worlds most stupid terrorist on the tube this morning or just some poor buggers complimentary corporate convention backpack. I'm going for the latter but either way I wanted to alight the train pretty sharpish when I looked over and read the words:

'GlaxoSmithKline: Pediatric Infectious Diseases'

'nuff said.

Mosquito Must Go

I am currently been driven to the brink of insanity by a bloody mosquito (me on the brink now that's a worry, just how far is that exactly?).

Anyway they keep buzzing round my face, my beautiful face, trying to take a suck at me, why isn't dating (what do I know about dating) this easy? Already in the course of writing two sentences in this entry I've had to get up and try and swat the fuck twice. The worse part is I now keep thinking I'm seeing and hearing them everywhere I go in the house, I am acting like bit of a fruit loop.

The problem is though, I do keep getting bitten by them and the bites itch like buggery (note: buggery shouldn't actually itch unless something is seriously wrong). There's one upstairs in my bedroom right now, I've been trying to catch it all day but some how it keeps eluding me. The worse part is being woken by the sound of a high-pitched whine right by my ear in the middle of the night (straight couples reading this insert some sort of clichéd joke along the lines of 'Ha! You should try sleeping next to my wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend').

Apparently it's only the females that bite, that figures (ooo sexist) and you know where I got that nugget of 'science' knowledge from, the 1995 movie Mosquito it's a terrible B-Movie, which they keep showing on the Sci-Fi channel. So anyway as I wrap this blog entry, the creature is still at large and I have just slapped the side of my face as it came in again.

Congratulations...

... to my great buddy Smahman, who now has an ickle Smahboy. Congratulations and jubilations etc, etc....

Blooming Marvellous

Well I showed my true gay colours in the pub last night and I'm proud of it.

I was in a pub owned by a friend-of-a-friend, clearly straight and blokey but trying to make his pub more appealing by adding a touch of colour in the form of flowers on the bar. I pointed out that they were terribly arranged and particularly the side facing the entrance, what would people think!?

I asked him if I might re-arrange the flowers for him and, let's face it, he was either going to say yes, or knock me out, fortunately I was granted the former and I set to work. In just a few minutes I had the arrangement sorted, wreaking of style and taste, with balance and volume, a display sure to please any customer.