Nothing Like A New Frock...

... to brighten up your day.

The blog. It simply wasn't....hmm... gay enough. Unfortunately in the process of playing dress up I did manage to lose a load of my links to other blogs. If I haven't got yours here let me know.

I'm not avoiding work. Honest.

Strangers In The Night

I had the strangest night out on Friday. I certainly wasn't expecting it. God why do I feel as I type this so many 'night out' stories start this way - what's wrong with me for goodness sakes! Answers on a postcard please.

I honestly thought when I left work to attend my trainers leaving do that it would be a couple of civilised drinks with a bunch of her clients. How wrong I was. I stupidly didn't eat that evening - we all know that spells trouble and before I know it I'm involved in a deep and penetrating conversation about gay sex.

"GARCON. MORE WINE"

It is absolutely shameful how quickly my mind draws blank on the events of that evening. Which is a shame, for had I been more with it I might have noticed the bastard who stole my iPod. No I don't have insurance. The shits.

The following night (yes there's more) I was at a far more civilised affair. My friends engagement party, which was actually a lot of fun. I met my friend Richards' new girlfriend and managed to recall the entire nights events. However, what I didn't notice was the card that I bought them to congratulate actually had 'Happy Birthday' written inside.

"It wasn't Happy Birthday was it?"

Dammit and i've just realised I missed Jam & Jerusalem as well.

Personality Disorder

You Have a Sanguine Temperament

You are an optimistic person who is easily content. You enjoy casual, light tasks - never wanting to delve too deep into anything. A bit fickle, it's easy for you to change plans or paths when presented with something better. You enjoy all of the great things life has to offer - food, friends, and fun. A great talker, you can keep the conversation going for hours. You are optimistic and sure of your success. If you fail, you don't worry about it too much. At your worst, you are vain. You are obsessed with your own attractiveness. A horrible flirt, you tend to jump into love affairs and relationship drama easily. You're very jealous - which just magnifies the craziness around you.

What Temperment Are You?

Child Of Our Time

You Are 18 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Flight of Fancy

I've just got back from a rather enjoyable long-weekend in New York. It was bloody amazing, a mentally fast city. This tale however is about my return flight with BA yesterday morning. A colleague at work told me the flight was called the 'red-eye' because you leave New York in the evening and get back to the UK in the morning.

I know it's a cliche about camp air stewards but this one was hilarious. It started with us being offered drinks, fine usual procedure, I took a beer. I hadn't particularly noticed any special treatment at this point or attention from the guy in question, yet before I was halfway through my beer he promptly came up to me and gave me another beer and my mum 2 bottles of wine.

Later we were bought round our meals - as usual. This guy brings out the hot beverages, it's important to note this guy was black (it's important to the story!) he says 'would you like tea or coffee sir?' to which I respond 'coffee please', he continues to say 'would you like that white' then he touches my hand and says 'or do you take it black!', at which point I just pissed myself out loud, it was hilarious.

I found this all the more funny because before I had boarded the flight I was having a drink in the bar with my mum and I was looking at their cocktail menu (of 2) and they offered one called the 'Mile High Mary'. If only I knew then I was to experience one in the flesh a few short hours later. It didn't end there, oh no, I was treated like a first class passenger (probably more so when I was asleep!) and as I went to leave the plane at the end of my flight, he came across especially to wish me goodbye. Bless!

Wood-be-Athlete

Is this story a bit dodgy?

This morning, at work, my colleague told me how he had woken up with 'morning wood', he proceeded to tell me that he hadn't had sex last night (welcome to my world mate)

"I'm really randy at the moment I had to get rid of it"

Now this guy is getting pathetically jealous of my ever improving physique. He said he was going to get rid of his afore mentioned hormonal overload by doing press-ups, in the nude. Apparently he'd completed about 10 reps and his girlfriends 6 year old daughter walks in.

Now I know he couldn't have helped the daughter walking in, but press-ups in the nude? It's not right is it?

Gay Auto's

Who says cars can't be gay! Hey!

The Homosexual and You!

Be warned nancy boys.

Microscopic Pianist

Admittedly it's a tenuous link between title and story but I didn't really know where to start. My brothers paid me a rare visit this weekend, two boys from Cornwall in the big city. I think they were quite impressed by the sheer variety of entertainment on offer (intentionally and unintentionally).

The night that really got their attention though was one of those rare unplanned nights when everything just seems to happen. We went to the Living Room in Islington and it was superb, the food was spot on, but what really got our attention was the singer and pianist performing upbeat lounge-style covers of everything from Prince to Nirvana.

The two guys were absolutely faultless, not a bum note all night. They really won the crowd over, well apart from this one miserable sow who had plonked herself on the end of the piano, right next to the singer, yet she stood with her back to him the entire night with a face like thunder. I don't get why people bother and why on earth they weren't enjoying it, her friends seemed to be - maybe that was the problem. We had a great time anyway.

Our next port of call was a club called Clockwork on Pentonville Road, i'd never been to it before. It was actually really good, run by nice people and they had an unbelievably cheap bar £5 a round. That is great anywhere and you certainly wouldn't expect to pay that at a Central London club. My brother even managed to pull, well he got so far as leaving in a cab with her. However when my other brother and I got home, a cab pulled up and my brother jumped out. Oh dear what a charmer.

It's not a particularly interesting tale if you weren't there. You weren't.