The Queen Is To Be Crowned

Can I just say I hate going to the dentists, it's never "fine see you in six months for your check-up", it's always a filling or some other drama. I went yesterday and she told me I needed a crown. "Sweetheart I could have told you that when I walked in the door".

Anyway after an hour of rooting around my mouth preparing the tooth she sends me on my way. Thank god I'm vain enough to have checked myself in the mirror before I left. The miserable old sow had left a white residue around my mouth which was not coming off without a fight, we all know I don't 'do' girls and I certainly don't allow them to leave a mess around my mouth.

The worse part is this temporary thing she's shoved in there, it's horrible and it has to stay for 2 weeks. Oh and while I think of it, she wouldn't let me spit either:

"Raise your left hand if you feel any discomfort", I felt like I was at school again, oh no wait I wasn't that clever at school... or now for that matter. Do you know what Jon said to me at work. 'What time is it 2:30?'. Fuck off Jon. If that is your name.

What A Scream

Well it came... and went without too much of a hitch. The event? Me turning 31 of course, however as Matt delightfully pointed out to me last night over dinner, it's actually the start of my 32nd year. Thanks for that!

I did wonder yesterday as I spent 2 hours in House of Fraser (my favourite department store) if I was on the fast track to middle aged-dom. There were worrying clues, the new bath towels and pillows I purchased (I had to get rid of my dirty pillows), admiring the cutlery canteens and sitting in the cafe on my own with coffee and scones admiring the view of the London skyline! Oh my god I also just realised I went into Clarks to look at shoes. Clarks.

Big Old Tooth Fairy

Sorry for not having posted earlier this week but the truth is I have been struggling with possibly the most painful tooth infection I've ever had. Thankfully now I'm up to my nut in painkillers and antibiotics [look at the bitch with the drug habit], but it is bit of a pisser given that it's my birthday weekend and means I won't be able to drink anything fun until Sunday.

It's rare having a problem with something staying in the mouth methinks. Does the tooth fairy still come at 31? [insert joke here]. Even if they do I'd have to go to hospital first. HOSPITAL. I see the dentist on Tuesday, watch this space I say, or rather watch for a space, maybe?

The World's Gone Teapotty

You may recall some months ago I made a blog entry about a guy at work who wanted black coffee with milk (god why didn't I write that at the time far more succinct) anyway this guy makes the foulest cup of tea. He offered to make me one a few weeks ago, I let him, it was horrible. I felt duty bound to write him a lengthy email telling him why his tea was foul and how to make a proper cup of tea:

"I don’t wish to sound ungrateful but that cup of tea was FOUL.

I know I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth but here’s a few pointers!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/03/

uk_how_to_make_perfect_tea/html/5.stm"


Anyway today I foolishly agreed to let him make me a cup of coffee. Black, one sugar. He forgot the sugar, that's not the point of this entry though. The point is he was pouring water into the kettle spout, full flow and it was spilling everywhere:

Me: What are you doing...

Him: I don't want to overfill it, and boil too much, it's a waste of energy and bad for the environment.

Me: What and wasting water isn't? Take the lid of the kettle and fill it normally like everyone else.

On a slightly different note, but still work, until yesterday we'd been without spread for toast for weeks. So I took it upon my self to finally rectify the situation and spread the love (d'ya get it) This is the email I wrote (i'm so proud):

Subject: Spreading the love

Can I just say, out of the very kindness of my own heart and own WALLET, I have purchased a tub of spread for the kitchen. I hope that this very selfless act of generosity ripples through the company and that from here on in spread will be available a little more frequently to our hungry office. Now I don't want to liken myself to Jesus feeding the 5,000, but there are quite a lot of people who use this office now! One small tub ain't going to go a long way or last a long time. I think i'm done.... yes i'm done.

GOOD MORNING!!!!

Well Blow Me...

Apparently BNP are changing their name. They're keeping the initials but instead of it standing for the British National Party, it now stands for the BE NICE PARTY. So no longer will there be articles like this on their website.

http://www.bnp.org.uk/news_detail.php?newsId=1303

Personally I don't have a problem with a fuck off great mosque, just so long as they've a McDonalds. It's thanks to Jon's link that I was sent there in the first place by the way.

Upbeat News Day

I'm not one to comment on the news really, I don't watch enough for starters to have an informed opinion and if I do say something I wonder if I've fully understood it anyway. Which is kind of worrying when you consider I edit a news/current affairs TV magazine show.

However this morning in the edit suite the telly was on feeding CNN out to no one but myself. I noticed as I left they were telling a story of how a teenage girl in America was videoed on a mobile phone being beaten up by other pupils at her school. The video had been posted on the Internet and CNN were commenting on how awful this was - in my opinion I agree it is horrific.

SO why then I thought are you guys looping this video full screen whilst telling us all this? Not only has this now being broadcast worldwide on the Internet but now thanks to CNN also on TV as well. I know they are probably trying to highlight how serious this all is, but to keep showing the video?

Like I say I don't like to comment normally but this particularly bugged me. Other news stories that are annoying me is the Celebrity Big Brother racism scandal, I think they should pull the show it's dire and desperate. Also the lead dancer at the National Ballet speaking out about her support for BNP. I sound like an old fishwife saying "I won't say anything.... but", I promise i'll make the next entry more upbeat!

Small World...

I received a text message off a friend of mine on Saturday night who lives in Telford (no don't laugh), her now not so new fella is in the Army, or was, or something like that. Now for quite sometime it turns out that they were also unknowingly friends with my cousin, (who's also in the Army (that's the connection there)) - well I mean they knew they were friends, otherwise we're getting into freaky territory [Ed: Territorial Army?].

It was only when she put several different clues together mind that she twigged it was me. I can see the thought process now: Danny.... Falmouth.... Gay.... Media.... London.... Gay.... Falmouth..... Gay...... Gay..... oh Danny. It is bloody freaky isn't the world incestuous enough already?

You're Fired!

I know we are now safely pushing our way into '007 (has anyone else noticed that about this years number?) but I'm pleased to report I've decided to try and be a bit braver this year as far as my career is concerned. That's right, I've bitten the bullet and given work 3 months notice. Yes folks, readers, lesbians (everyone welcome) I'm going freelance [should be said in the style of a quote from Matt 'i've been shopping'].

It actually feels strangely liberating, I'm going it alone, I'm my own boss, no more answering to arsehole managers [note to self; don't think you're going to get it easy from me buster] it's time to burn my bra [note; er Bra?] fine i'll buy one and burn that. All I have to hope now is that all my friends and contacts i've made over the years actually want to work with me again.

Now, let me think about my other workplace departures....

Flavour of the Month

Hands up who can tell me what this is.

The answer; Jamie Olivers' flavour shaker, is this not the most ridiculous item ever? They're running the most irritating ad campaign for it as well, oh look we're trying to be funny aren't we, I mean we know it looks sexual, blah blah blah....

Also has anyone else noticed Jamies' new cook book in certain lights looks like it says 'cock', not a great example in this picture but it's metallic and does sometimes look like it says it.

Having said all that I got the book for Christmas and used it to cook a very nice rissotto on Saturday night. Well pleased with it. I actually tweaked the recipe a bit but it was still yummers. Chorizo and Asparagus yum yum yum!

5 Gold Rings

I went to a rather lovely gay wedding in Manchester just before Christmas, it was very nice to catch up with some old uni pals I hadn't seen for quite some time.

They often say people meet their future husbands at weddings, well at least they did in the film Muriels Wedding, or at least I think they did, it's not the point, well it is, just mine (maybe theirs too). Anyway before I start to ramble I had not one but two people express past or present interest in me! One highly amusingly was the groom on the dance floor! Sorry guys I know you're probably both going to read this but he did and it was past anyway!

Then when I get to Cornwall for Christmas I recieve a text from the other groom telling me his work mate fancied me as well, what a result! In the end I just picked up a dirty bit of trade when I got back to London, still always nice to have the attention!!